Hair Trigger

This past Friday, I went to lunch with a group of friends.  Before coming to his final vocation, "Todd" served in the Navy, including being stationed in San Diego for several years.  Trust me... the fact that he served in the Navy will start to become relevant in about three sentences.

Toward the end of our lunch, we got onto the subject of falling down.  I have no idea how this topic came up, but I shared a story about falling down, then another friend shared a story about falling down, and then Todd jumped in with a story, ostensibly about falling down.  I say "ostensibly" because my mind got so far off track that I never actually heard the story, although I am pretty sure he told it.  The story started with the following line:  "So when I was stationed in San Diego, a bunch of us went up to San Francisco for the blessing of the pleasure craft..."

And this is where I lost it.

You see, I totally understand that a "pleasure craft" is a non-military, non-service, sea-faring vessel, such as a yacht or a sailboat.  And I also understand that "blessing" such a vessel generally refers to christening it, or bestowing blessings upon it or an entire fleet of vessels, requesting safe passage while the vessel is at sea.  http://www.sfsailing.org/sailing-news-sausalito-sf/sailing-opening-day-on-the-bay  The problem is that the phrase, when combined, sounds like something other than what it is.  Something really, really different than what it is.  And once my mind starts down this path, it can be really hard to pull it back.  (Even now I'm snickering that it would be hard to pull it back when, you know, blessing the pleasure craft.)

As soon as I heard "blessing of the pleasure craft," I instantly found it hysterical that a bunch of Navy men - i.e. seamen - went to this event together.  And it was equally funny that the event was attended by various members of the clergy.  I mean, if you're going to bless your pleasure craft, isn't that something that you should do in the privacy of your own home, and preferably not with a servant of God or any other deity in full witness?

So I was laughing almost to the point of crying while Todd finished his story, at which point the "falling down" part was kind of anti-climactic.  (Snicker snicker.)  I was finally starting to compose myself when someone else started a story about a friend of hers who was a Navy Seal.  She said something to the effect that her friend was performing some sort of magic trick... prompting me to ask, "like balancing balls on his nose?"  From then on, lunch was pretty much Beavis & Butthead redux, complete with some level of debate as to whether the appropriate attire for seamen at the blessing of the pleasure craft is seersucker or another similarly breathable fabric.

Walking back from lunch, Todd was clearly amused by the momentary break from my typical quiet, reserved, super-serious demeanor (ha!).  "You really have a hair trigger for the double entendre, don't you?"  Yes... yes, I do.  He then asked me whether I would have found it as funny if the phrase were "blessing of the fleet" (no), "blessing of the yachts" (no)... or what about "tugboats"?  Seriously?

Hair trigger... ACTIVATE!